“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They will live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. “
TO: Friends and Family
Every once in a while I look back in my journal to see what I was thinking and doing one year ago. On my birthday last year, Phyl and I drove to a farm store in Westhampton where she said they made the best whoopie pies! She had a hot dog and a whoopie pie and seemed to enjoy the day. But that evening she broke down in tears, according to my journal, and cried “I hate my body.” She had lost most of her physical abilities by that time and needed help with everything except eating, talking and driving her power chair (and these would all go within the next 6 months). I wrote that I felt helpless. The next day she was up and ready to go again.
Phyl was amazing the way she would continue to bounce back from regular and continuing struggles and defeats. Every time she lost another ability, it hit her hard. We cried together at night and the next morning she was smiling and ready to go again, trying to figure out how to adjust to the most recent loss. She demonstrated a resilient attitude that I didn’t appreciate at the time because I was so worried about “what’s next?” My job was to be prepared for whatever she needed.
Thanksgiving was approaching and I asked her to write a letter to her network of friends and family. It took her hours, since she had little control of her hands. Nevertheless, she wrote in a letter we sent to you all…. “I am grateful for each and every one of you. I’m thankful for the walks around the neighborhood, the prayers, the outings, the problem solving to make situations work for me, the kisses and hugs, the food, the txt, the phone calls, my new bathroom (thanks Dad), the chats on the deck (some serious and some hysterically funny) and the shoulders to cry on.“Continue reading A Thanksgiving message from john